Sunday, May 11, 2008

I'm Sad...



Yesterday, hubby and I visited our relatives in a small village. They have a sixth month old baby boy. He's cute, fair, and chubby. He's so happy and excited seeing me. In fact, this is only the first time I meet up with this baby. Without thinking much, I offered to hold him in my arms. He's playful, try to touch me, smiling to me and play with me. I was happy holding this baby, but deep inside my heart, I was crying. Nobody knew that I was thinking of my baby boy again...Holding people's baby, but thinking about my own lost baby.

On the way back, I couldn't control my tears anymore. I cried quietly in the car. Initially, I thought I have walked out from the past, but I'm wrong. If everything's fine, I will deliver my baby boy in mid of June. But now, I lost him. I've lost our flesh and blood, and now, I still missing him...very much indeed.

I think New Kid On the Blog understand my feeling the most, don't you?

4 comments:

New Kid on the Blog said...

Yes! I understand that... especially holding people's child but that aint yours. That feeling no one could understand it.

I know we both have heard a lot of people telling us, dont look back, dont think too much, you'll have another one soon...

Let's tell ourselves this Mother's Day. We'll have our baby soon!! Don't look back but to look forward for our new baby...

little inbox said...

Yea, let's believe we will have our baby soon. We want babiesssssss......

Kadus_Mama said...

:( I'm sooo sorry for you loss. I hope you will be strong. Your baby was meant to be with God. That is for sure. I'm praying you will have your own baby in the future.

little inbox said...

kadus_mama, thank you. Thank you very much.