Monday, May 19, 2008

In Laws Story



Reading about new kid on the blog's recent post on MIL, making me wanna write one for my situation.

Both FIL and MIL are educated persons. They have 3 sons. Hubby's eldest brother is holding Australian PR and stay there permanently with his wife. 2nd BIL is also a married guy who is also successful in his career. Both of them is quite supportive. Hubby is the youngest in the family like me. Our age are very far behind our siblings. Parents in laws have their pension to cover for their own expenses, so money wise, is not a burden. All siblings help up the expenses for MIL since she was diagnosed with stroke back in March. She's now still undergoing physio and we observe an impressive improvement on her left body movement.

My relationship with MIL is not so bad. She treats me like her own daughter. She always talk to me about her life. When I was pregnant, she bought me few maternity wears, and even when I lost my baby, parent in laws were there to support me and hubby. I'm lucky to have MIL and grandma in law to take care of me during my confinement.

Hubby and I stay in a free hold landed property at Penang island which is fully paid off by FIL. It's a kind of blessing from FIL when we got married. I'm fortunate cuz FIL & MIL do not have daughter. So, the situation is not so complicated. I don't have sister in law to comment a lot in front of parents in laws. It saves me from unnecessary misunderstanding. Hmm...so based on the above I shall not have any bad experience with FIL & MIL isn' it? No, still there is.

I don't have as much as issues with my in laws compared to new kid. The only problem is from FIL. He tends to control his sons, especially his youngest son, my hubby. He used to instruct hubby to do this and that, to rush here and there without asking our opinion. He always force us to follow his words without considering our thoughts. We have been dedicate our weekends to parents in laws lately, but still FIL keeps on calling us on daily basis and repeating the same words over and over. I'm damn tired with his order. I'm a Leo, I don't like to be controlled by other people. I really wish FIL can spend some time sitting down with us and listening to us. We are human beings, and we have our rights to do things in our own way. And we need to be respected too. Only 2 way communication is able to result a win-win situation.

That's the only problem I encountered so far. May be my case is not that bad. Or may be you think that I'm so lucky since I have that little bit of problem with my in laws. Anyway, I will try to tolerate FIL's behaviour, but I'm still afraid I will burst out one day.

3 comments:

New Kid on the Blog said...

i dont know should i use the word envy or admire. i always admire people have a good FIL & MIL. at least MIL help out and giving you full support when you're down and needed confinement treatment. my both FIL & MIL are just sitting down there and do nothing. hubby is always feel bad for this. FIL likes to control your hubby is just a minor problem, at least he's educated and you could talk it out. my problem started from BIL, SIL, MIL & FIL. the mis-understanding is like a snow ball...

little inbox said...

I know I shouldn't complaint about it. I know I'm so lucky to have that little issue. Furthermore, I can go out with BILs, and chat with them without any problem. I know I'm very lucky. :)
BTW, for your case, as long as you've done whatever you should and you can, so it's nothing wrong then. Whatever ppl wanna say, let them speak it out cus we can't shut up their mouth.

Liang Mui said...

i shld say i reali envy u, lil inbox... at least they stil treating u like a family..
i had problems wif my inlaws side too except MIL. my MIL is veli good.. i love her veli much. my FIL sometimes nags a lot over some small problems. especially when he's down in KL, he wil nag abt the jam, the shopping centers, the prices of food and even the house that we bought.

to us, wic is working in KL, a slow moving queue in highway is consider good to us. but he wil nag non-stop wic makes me feels so frustrated and turn down my desire to be out wif them. in shopping centers, i cant see he's doing shopping instead jus rushing over to get his things and tat's all. the rest of us dun hv to chance to browse thru shop to shop or dept to dept. i'm not LEO but i'm a LIBRA.. haha.. i hope everything goes perfectly for 2 parties instead of 1. my MIL wil b veli unhappy when my FIL nagging ard. i dun reali feel good to see my MIL in bad mood. and the price of food in kl, he wil b comparing the price in ipoh and KL. i mean.. how to compare?? standard of living in KL is quite high. i dun think we stil can get Rm2.50 of wan tan mee in KL rite now.

and abt the house tat we bought.. hai~~ we manage to buy a house in puchong wic is stil under construction. and it's a free hold landed property. but he insisted us to get a 99-yr lease hold property instead. jus bcos tat 99 yr one had a bigger space. i was like.. omg!! was it free hold better than 99 yr? and i was reali extremely unhappy wif him. and i guess my hubby knew tat. luckily, my hubby din follow his instructions to get a 99 yr property. well, tat's my FIL..

and another one wil b SIL. she's the youngest of the family. demanding & stubborn lil gal. she wil do things depending veli much on her emotions. i feel veli pressurize when i'm staying together wif her. i think rite nowadays, i dun tok much to her to prevent misunderstanding. and i dowan my hubby to b like 'sandwich' -> stuck between both of us and he dunno who to help. i think if u had read thru my blog, i had a post on this. it's on April Archive.
Dunno Wat to do.